Don't Keep Repenting?

Repentance needs words and actions. In the rest of this note I'll just be focusing on the words part.

Someone said, "Don't keep asking forgiveness for the same sin. Just move on." On the surface, this looks okay. But I found myself today repenting a few times for losing my temper one time; and that's how I said it. When the sin came to mind I said again, "Sorry Dad. Forgive me." And once or twice I'd remember the adage, "Don't keep asking forgiveness for the same sin. Just move on." and I would correct myself.

Then I realized that this adage is entirely unhelpful to me. And by that I mean it's crap.

Repentance is a lifestyle. There are different words we use to repent. We ask for forgiveness, we ask for mercy. Sometimes we think it through enough to ask for grace (as in, "Lord give me grace; help me not do that anymore.") Really it's just different ways of putting our contrition into words. Different ways of telling God we're sorry.

So five minutes ago my sin came to mind and I said, "Sorry Dad. Forgive me." And the adage returned to rebuke me.

"You're already forgiven. Don't ask for forgiveness again."

This time I recognized it for what it was. I shot back,

"Shut your mouth you presumption. If I feel sorry I will tell God I'm sorry."

Here's a prayer which has been prayed continually for centuries, all over the world, in various forms:

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me the sinner."

This is the Jesus Prayer. If you read the body of teaching about this tradition, you'll discover that the men and women who pray this obsessively are super duper like Jesus. Absolutely covered in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Nevertheless, asking God for mercy for themselves is a life-long task.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy (Mt 5:7)." This is at once an obligation to be kind. God will not be mocked by having bad children. Peter says, "... if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile (1 Pt 1:17)."

You know why merciful people get mercy? Because God is fair. Because it makes sense. God makes sense.

On the other hand, with the Jesus Prayer tradition in mind, this verse lights up like a beacon of hope. If you will, please allow me to turn this verse on its head:

"Ask for mercy, and he will make you merciful."

Crazy? You think? Follow this: God is fair. He will be merciful to the merciful. He wants to be merciful to us; he feels acute kindness and compassion. But hey, if you're bad you're bad; and he loves justice. He also loves the people we hurt! (I love justice too, by the way. Makes perfect sense.) It also makes perfect sense for God to quarantine you indefinitely if you're a jerk.

So we really do have to be merciful to get mercy. Is that a huge crushing burden? I don't think so. It's a burden, and we really do have to carry it; but he said "my burden is easy." It's 'easy' in one sense because we're not alone. He also says, "my yoke is light." Yeah, his yoke is light cause we're yoked in it with him! not because it isn't a hugely big deal. It is a big deal. And we've been commanded to pour out our lives in service to God and his big deal.

Ask for mercy, and he will make you merciful. It'll work. Be patient and trust God. He'll make you merciful so that he can be just in showing you mercy.

If you feel sorry for your sin, by all means repent. Ask for grace. Ask for mercy. Ask for forgiveness. Never give up repentance. Choose words that help you say what you feel.

As for me, I ask for mercy. Of all the ways to tell God I'm sorry, I can't think of one that is more humiliating, simply because it's true. I need mercy. ME. I'M the sinner.

take the lowest place my son
take the lowest place

do your best and ask for mercy
he will give you grace

Confidence - St Symeon the New Theologian

One thing I've discovered in the writings of ancient monks is humility. They are unaware of us arrogant protestant critics bearing rocks. Unaware of us disrespectful charismatics who lift proof texts from their mystic teachers and put them in our books that condemn obedience. Unaware of how disgusting to us is their desperation to be saved.

The harder you try, the more desperate you get for help. That's why the monastics jettison everything they can, even good things, to live simply and pray for mercy.

I hope that in reading this, we do not allow our understanding of justification to override the Gospel; Jesus said a lot about obedience to Himself. Let me point out for example, something that shows up in our cultural blind spot: Responding to an altar-call is very much a work.

Praying a prayer with sincerity is also a work. Warding ourselves against any hint of legalism is a very difficult work, and a burden Jesus never gave us. That's something the reformers gleaned from Paul, using only half of what he said and no Gospel texts at all. Modernism hit the fan and we now have a new law of no-law and no one is lifting a finger to help us bear it. It's a deadly error to think that saving faith consists in doing nothing at all; that effort causes us to forfeit grace.  It might be that the effort to do nothing forfeits grace.

The antidote for despair is not presumption; it's desperate repentance and watching yourself grow up into Christ (Eph 4:15).

Be not deceived, my brethren. God loves mankind, He is merciful and compassionate. Of this I bear witness and this I confess, for it is by His compassion that I am confident that I will be saved. But know this, that it will be of no avail for those who are impenitent and do not keep His commandments with all exactitude and with much fear; they will be punished far more severely than the unbelieving and unbaptized heathen. Be not deceived, brethren; let not any of your offenses appear insignificant to you, nor dismiss them with contempt as though they do not greatly damage your souls. Servants who are grateful do not recognize any difference between a small offense and a great one. Even if their offense consist merely in a glance or in a thought or word, they feel about it as though they have fallen from the love of God, which I believe is true (III.7).

[…]

The deadly wound consists of every sin that is not repented and confessed, and of falling into despair. This depends on our choice and will. If we do not yield ourselves to the pit of carelessness and despair the devils cannot at all prevail over us. Even when we have been wounded, if we so wish we may through fervent penitence become more courageous and skillful fighters. To rise again and fight after being wounded and slain belongs to the noblest and bravest – it is worthy of great praise and most admirable. It does not depend on us whether we should be preserved from suffering wounds. To become either mortal or immortal depends on us, for if we do not despair we shall not die, “death will have no dominion over us” (Rom 6:9), but we shall always be strong if we flee in penitence to our all-powerful and gracious God.

Therefore I encourage myself and us all to display all eagerness, all patient courage and endurance by means of good deeds. Thus may we make our way through all the commandments and precepts of Christ, so that in readiness of soul we may attain to the eternal habitations by the guidance of the Spirit. So shall we be found worthy to stand before the one and indivisible Trinity and in Him worship Christ our God, to whom be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen (III.10).

– St Symeon, The Discourses

Be Humble - Hesychius of Sinai

Snow can never emit flame.
Water can never issue fire.
A thorn bush can never produce a fig.
Just so, your heart can never be free
from oppressive thoughts, words, and actions
until it has purified itself internally.

Be eager to walk this path.
Watch your heart always.
Constantly say the prayer
“Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”
Be humble.
Set your soul in quietness.

The more the rain falls on the earth,
the softer it makes it;
similarly, Christ’s holy name
gladdens the earth of our heart
the more we call upon it.

— Hesychius of Sinai

	Fr. John McGuckin - Humble Prayer .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I was praying in the bed today, lamenting the gap between Christ and me. It's no use quoting scripture at myself when my conscience condemns me.

Many people who are experienced at prayer will tell you that as soon as you commit yourself to talk to God, the accuser [spit on the ground] will remind you of every sin you've ever committed. Or is it sometimes the Holy Spirit? It's not always easy to tell. Here's the answer though, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

If it's God reminding you about your sin, repent. Call someone you love and trust (someone who agrees with God about your sin) and tell them about it. There's an incredible freedom that comes from not hiding. This freedom is, by the way, very important to the gospel (John 3:19). Necessary, in fact.

If it's the enemy, repent. Take yourself and your shame out of his hands. Call someone you love and trust (someone who agrees with God about your sin) and tell them about it. There's an incredible freedom that comes from not hiding. This freedom is, by the way, very important to the gospel (John 3:19). Necessary, in fact.

Do you see it? Our sin really does separate us from God, not because it keeps Him away, but because it keeps us away from Him. Almost no one is willing to bite the bullet of confession so that they can pray. Instead, we convince ourselves that our sin isn't a problem but we still never pray. As if there's anything else! There isn't. We were made for Him, to obey and enjoy Him forever. If we don't have that, we don't have anything. The doors of hell are locked from the inside.

So this morning I asked God to crush me and set me on fire (Luke 20:18, Luke 3:16, Luke 12:49). Sometimes I have the grace to throw myself on his mercy. Other times I can't even do that. But He is faithful to undo me and let me try again (Lam 3:22-23).

No sooner had I prayed for this, to be crushed and burned, than Isaac came toddling bleary-eyed out of his room. "I wake up! Can I have some chocolate milk please?" Oh Jesus! Your yoke is easy and your burden is light (Matt 11:30).

Love of God - St Maximos the Confessor

Love of God is opposed to desire, for it persuades the intellect to control itself with regard to sensual pleasures.  Love for our neighbor is opposed to anger, for it makes us scorn fame and riches.  These are the two pence which our Saviour gave to the innkeeper (cf. Luke 10:35), so that he should take care of you. But do not be thoughtless and associate with robbers; otherwise you will be beaten again and left not merely unconscious but dead.

St Maximos the Confessor from Four Hundred Texts on Love, The Philokalia Volume II


I laughed out loud when I read this.  Seems like it's supposed to be funny, actually, and at the same time deadly serious.  St Maximos does something typical of earlier fathers with this parable; he applies it to the interior war.  He was a monk, that group of Christians which is notably serious about being made holy; not afraid of "offending the Cross" by doing everything possible in their efforts to please God and be free of sin in their thoughts and actions.

There are key words that need to be understood here. The first is 'desire'. In this context it's a Platonic idea, but one that's widely accepted by the Greek Christian fathers. Desire is (I think, I don't have the Greek text to double check this) the work of one part of the soul, according to Plato's tripartite model. None of these parts are evil by nature (not after regeneration, at least). But this part especially, "when not transformed by positive spiritual influences, is susceptive to the influence of negative and self-destructive forces". If this is accurate, it's not a stretch to read this as 'lust' in the broad sense.

The other word is 'intellect,' probably nous in Greek. It deserves an explanation, since this is not at all what we understand by the word. From The Philokalia glossary:

Intellect (νους - nous): the highest faculty in man, through which - provided it is purified - he knows God or the inner essences or principles of created things by means of direct apprehension or spiritual perception. Unlike the dianoia or reason, from which it must be carefully distinguished, the intellect does not function by formulating abstract concepts and then arguing on this basis to a conclusion reached through deductive reasoning, but it understands divine truth by means of immediate experience, intuition or 'simple cognition' (the term used by St Isaac the Syrian). The intellect dwells in the 'depths of the soul'; it constitutes the innermost aspect of the heart.  The intellect is the organ of contemplation, the 'eye of the heart'.

No getting off the hook of Jesus' commandments to do stuff.  No assurance of salvation except what the Holy Spirit gives you directly.  In fact, the two go together (cf. John 10:27, Matt 7:21).  Welcome to Eastern Orthodoxy.

Bloodmoney Trailer

BloodMoney is a documentary film that exposes the truth behind the Abortion Industry from the Pro Life perspective. This film will examine the history of abortion in America, from the inception of Planned Parenthood and the profitability of abortion clinics, to Roe v. Wade, to the denial of when life begins, to the fight to save the lives of innocent babies, and the devastating effects it has had on the women that have had them.

Jesus, I plead your Blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America.

Bound 4 Life

Jesus, I plead your Blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America (The Life Prayer).

After 50 days of round-the-clock corporate prayer and fasting for the 2004 elections, a group of prayer warriors — young and old alike — packed up their sleeping bags and headed to Washington, DC filled with purpose and confidence that prayer can change the course of a nation.

For 31 days they stood at the United States Supreme Court with the word “LIFE” written raw on a piece of red tape that covered their mouths. Their silent prayers rose day after day to the Court that’s higher than the highest court in the land–31 days for 31 years of legalized abortion in America. What was birthed during that time of intercession has gone on to impact the entire nation in a very short period of time.

If you go to the Supreme Court today, you will find a company still there. Through rain, blizzards and scorching heat they have never abandoned the siege. They are there until the Judges reverse the decree of death.

And its spreading.

Bound4LIFE is a grassroots prayer mobilization movement targeting the ending of abortion, the increase of adoptions and the reformation of government and society through spiritual awakening. Our mission is to mobilize a groundswell of prayer through:

“Silent Sieges” in front of courthouses and abortion clinics across the nation.

Millions of Christians wearing “Life Bands” and making the Bound4LIFE covenant–PRAY, VOTE & OBEY.

When LIFE tape is placed over our mouths, we are identifying with the silent screams of the unborn and of those who have no voice. Our stand is not a protest, but a silent prayer meeting. We make our appeal to the Judge of the earth and ask Him for speedy justice to be released. Oh that God would subpoena the conscience of the nation!

The media has taken hold of this image and spread it everywhere. It has quickly become a phenomenon that catches the eyes and hearts of the world.

In our silence, we intercede on behalf of our nation and cry out to God for mercy. It is a silence that speaks louder than words. We must build up this wall! May our tears soak the sidewalks, and may a silent cry go forth all over our land!

Local Bound4Life Chapter (Columbia, SC)

I am Anti-Choice

Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America.

Thrice | The Earth Will Shake

He who sins is not free (John 8:34-36) but the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners (Psalm 69:33). Hate your slavery. Kiss the Son (Psalm 2:12).